Vaginal Itching

Every since i came back to Bintulu i've been having this slight itching at the genitalia area.

Normally i'll just ignore and the itch will just fade off.

Its not that itching at that area is uncommon, i'm very sure everybody experience it just that their too shy to talk about it because people always relate it to being unhygiene and it somehow become a taboo to talk about anything related to the genitals.

But that is not always the case, there are various of causes regardless of how clean is your down under.

Here are some of the common causes that came across my mind and can easily be found in the internet.

Common causes:

1. Contact irritation- skin irritations that may be caused by unsuitable detergents, softeners, feminine sprays, fabrics etc

2.Vaginal yeast infection (thrush)- the culprit is Candida albicans

3.Stress- when ur under stress your immune system indirectly affected and making u more prone to getting yeast infection

4.Vaginal dryness- probably caused by either washing or hormonal induced due to low estrogen.

But the thing is, its getting worse and its already nearly 2 weeks but there's no sign that its stopping.

It doesn't itch all the time but once it started its unbearable and there's no stopping it. 

And the aftermath are equally devastating, the burning sensation and the tearing of the skin. 

Argh what a pain in the xxxxxx.

 And lately there is this thick, white discharge that comes together with some bleeding. 

I started to google for the symptoms and it fit exactly with symptoms of thrush.

So i started to panic and decided its time to brush away the shyness and seek for a proper medical attention.

I tried to go to the women's specialist at Bintulu Medical Center but damn it, their only open during office hour and weekdays.

So i just when to the pharmacy and get myself some medicine and ointment. 

It took me quite alot of courage to asked for medication for vaginal itching, plus the pharmacist was having a leisure chat with few people at the counter. 

Luckily i was served by a female pharmacist but she kept on seeking for the male pharmacist that i was trying to avoid for references *sweat* 

These are what i get

 RM 10.80- kinda costly huh. The pharmacist told me that its ok to take this medicine even if your not really sure is it really cause by fungal infection or skin irritation.

 RM 13.80- I don't even know what does it mean 'with applicator'. i thought its suppose to be just a topical cream that u only apply at the affected area. 

WTH is this plastic tube thingy???? and i cant find the instruction in or out of the box. 

I think previously the pharmacist took the paper with the instruction on how to use it then forgot to place it back.

I suppose it work this way:

The tube thingy is suppose to act like a syringe where u pump some of the cream  then insert it as deeply as possible into the vagina.

Screw the red circled area together before directly withdraw the cream into the supposed syringe (Insert tube 1 into tube 2 before inserting the cream into the tube).

There's no need to wet the syringe so before inserting, all you need to do is take it slowly and not forcefully.

So i used it externally after took bath and whenever i start to feel itchy and once a day internally after bath before i took off to bed.

p/s: Don't forget to clean the tubes thoroughly before and after using it.

The pain of being a lady:

Its already painful enough that we have to endure that monthly pain, mood swing, inconvenience of having menstrual bla bla bla and now come the itching and chances of infections

 Before, during or after our menstrual there will be slight itching at the vaginal area, as far as i remember it was never serious or unbearable.

 Apparently this have something to do with the hormone (estrogen) in our body.

During this period our body hormones kinda goes on a berserk mode and the blood causes the pH of the  vaginal area to  increase (normally  the pH should be slightly acidic pH4.5-5.5)  and thus affecting the microorganisms that have been living IN our body.

This increase in pH favors those unfavorable microorganisms to grow and cause itching.

This are just some of the links that i find useful just in case one might suffer similar things

1. http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/003159.htm

2. http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcarticles.nsf/pages/Thrush

Sore throat and coughs

After 2 weeks of severe sore throat with the combo attack of flu and menstrual pain, I've come up with a list of foods that we are so not aware of which actually prolong sore throats. Well at least it apply for me

1. Seafood other than fish, especially clams - I dint  even know that until I 'accidentally' ate some and the coughing were unstoppable for the whole day. When i searched through the internet i never come across with seafood in list of food to be avoided, however its seems that the elderly knows about this very well.

2. Chicken- From my understanding it was because of the texture of the chicken meat itself. If u notice its a little thread like and when it goes through the throat it causes irritation.

3. Dry/Fried foods- Do i even have to talk about it? Common sense people, says if u eat dry/fried foods like junk foods, popcorns, biscuits etc it tends to caused abrasion to your throat.

4.Cold/alcoholic/caffeinated drinks- it cause ur throat to dry out then worsen up sore throats

Lucky me, get to know a LOSER SON OF A BITCH

Recently a very rare, interesting thing happened to me.

A guy i rejected asked back the ipad2 he gave me in February 2012.

Let me see, I'll just randomly name this guy as Alvin.

(If your name happen to be Alvin please forgive me, i dint mean to frame or degrade you it's just that this name suddenly came across my mind)

OMG what a loser, first time in my history this happened to me.

Well, i don't mind returning it to him since his such a materialistic, loser son of a bitch.

But his sense of reasoning is just too overwhelming and stupid.

I was kinda taken back when he states his reasons.

It's so ridiculous that i can't stop myself from sharing it.

Plus his such a rare thing that he should be consider as a national treasure or lock in a zoo or something so people can see and say "Geesh, so this is how a loser look like" or "Don't ever be such a sucker like him"

Why do i say that, you guys just have to read through our chats

This is just a part of our chat, not to mention the messages he sent me through my phone were equally ridiculous as this.

In less than 24 hours he bombarded me by saying i'm greedy, cheater, cheap, etc etc for not returning him ipad.

These are just some of the funny text he sent me:

I make a mistake because let you cheating, try to think yourself.

Now i recall back you are really the greedy person. 

I know you won't return the ipad2 like your ex.

Try to think what's wrong with yourself.

Of course i did a big mistake.

You see just simple. I just want the ipad2 back and forget everything.

I'm too tired to about it. 

He even try to threatened me by saying "I don't wish to say bad things about people"

OMGGGGGGGGG, please save me!!!!! I'm so so so so afraid *long yawns*

Do you believe this guy????????????

Is he having a mental breakdown or brain dysfunction to be this stupid?

Anyone who believes him is just as stupid as him, but then again he can always add in alot of spices just to frame people right?

The FB chat commenced late at night, then the following early morning (before 9 am) he sent me his office address.

Evening starts to bombard me.

Tsk... tsk.. tsk...

Reply him, he said i cheat bla bla bla, din reply he said xxxxxx. 

I really don't know how ridiculous can he be.

Btw, what do you know about my ex wo?


So now your gonna claim that you have some godly power where you can project the pass? *roll eyes 360 degree*

And the funny thing is you got it wrong sucker.

Please bear in mind, all this while he kept on saying that "I love you very much and i'll do anything for you" and many many more disgusting lame stuff.

Although i kept on telling him:

 NO NO NO, we are just friends and i'm currently enjoying my single life, please go for other girls they are way better than me.

How ignorant and stupid can he be??? 

That's why i always asked him to RE-READ back previous chats or messages.

Why he called me a cheater, i'm sure you get the idea. Because he is over confident, and he felt that girl MUST accept him.

I don't understand, cheat is when your in a relationship but failure to get the other girl is another thing.

The thing about the gift is when i received it i was very shocked, when i told him it's too expensive for me to accept he said "Its ok, as long u like it, its worth it" *roll eyes*

I know i know it's very embarrassing to know guy like Alvin, but i think it would be a great eye opener to let people aware of sucker like him do exist. 

I wonder am i actually lucky or just pure bad luck to know this guy.

This guy i named as Alvin was going after for quite some times, i know him back in 2010 if i'm not wrong and all this while he was the one that kept approaching me.

So finally around mid of 2011 we become better friends cause i was single that time and went through the emotional breakdown because of my previous failed relationship.


Then i just decided to give myself a chance to know more guys and this Alvin guy seems to be pretty harmless, decent, boring guy.

Someone that i would have never even bother or notice.

A more detail description of him:

30 YEARS OLD WORKING GUY (and he still act so childish, can you believe this)

Tom, Dick Harry kind of face with a very long hair nose sticking out *gross*

Average height, with slight hunch shoulder

Boring personality

SO AT THE END WHAT DID I DO?????
.
.
.
.

Well i gave him the ipad2 of course, i really don't want to have anything to do with him.

And... i asked for brother's help to pass it to him.

Alvin asked me to post it to his office but then again my brother raise the question 'What if the parcel got lost?" and "What if he deny that he already receive the parcel and still insist on me giving him?"

Wow, that's so smart of my brother to foresee things like that.

Given by the nature of Alvin, we decided to take video of everything as a little proof and we asked him to  pay RM 450.00 for the money i spent on the casings, screen protector and the human transportation of delivering that ipad2 from Bintulu to Kuching.

The last message i sent him through the phone goes like this:

I can assure you it's in good condition.

After this SMS please promise me that you'll delete my numbers, messages or anything that are related to me because i'll totally erase you too.

I don't wish to have anything to do with you just like what you wanted.

If we happen to bum at each other outside, we are nothing but strangers because i don's wish to know to remember or know a 30 years old working guy that called a girl greedy, cheap, cheater, blame them on everything although he himself misunderstood, make the mistakes and pushy 

--> all this happen just because he was rejected and that everything was clarify.

Again i would like to clarify i didn't ask u to chase me or ask for any gift.

You randomly added girls in fb that have mutual friends with you, approached them, so its their fault because they posted pretty pics of themselves which induce you to add them, this is just a classic example.

I will never entertain or reply anything related to you anymore, so goodbye and take care.

Btw, please don't randomly claimed that i'm your gf or your ex, we never started and were only friends all.

I really don't wish to be associated with the like of you

-the end-

You see the purpose of me writing this is not because i hate him, i just simply have to let people know that people like this do exist and they might be crazy despite being stupid.


Just like when someone tell you to "becareful there's a crazy dog lurking around, dont let it get you or prepare yourself"

The conclusion is:

Just beware of ass hole like this guy. 

Feeling extremely pissed off

A certain friend of mine manage to make me pissed off last night, and i'm still pretty pissed off right now.
I hate it when they are being insensitive despite the fact that they are not a stranger.
It started when he asked me have anyone speak "bahasa" to me before and how do i feel.
I told him yes and its pretty often due to my tanned skin.
I told him that i hate it, felt annoyed when people do that but i cant blame them.
Then... he joked that he should probably start to speak "bahasa" with me as well.

*pop* That's the sound of me going to extreme pissed off mood.

Excuse me, you asked me how would i fell if people do that and now your trying to make a joke out of it.

Is this your sense of humor????
HA... HA... HA...

My turn to say sorry now.
i'm sorry i cant force myself to laugh cause ITS. NOT. FUNNY. AT. ALL.

Please have respect k.

Yayaya, he said sorry.

But that apology was for making me angry but not for being insensitive and a jerk.
His apologies are useless cause I'm sure the same thing will happen again plus it doesn't sound sincere.

Therefore with the power bestowed to me...
YOUR APOLOGIES ARE NOT ACCEPTED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE.

The things that may annoyed me to the max

Ok I'm very sure everybody have likes and dislikes.
If you don't, stop pretending.
Who are you trying to convince?
Just as a precaution, for anyone who happened to know me by force or by accident, which i don't care.

So here it goes, the list of things that annoyed me to the max which i find it to be intolerable and pretty common:

1. AN INSENSITIVE JERK THAT THINK THAT THEY CAN MAKE JOKE OF ANYTHING WHICH THEY FIND IT FUNNY
- dear Joker, your NOT funny so don't force yourself k

2. PRETENDING TO BE CUTE
-Sincerely its DISGUSTING, you're like nearly hit the menopause but you still think that you're still a cute little baby with a diaper?

3.SMOKERS THAT THINK THAT THEY LOOKED COOL SMOKING
-There is this one question that has been lingering in my mind, where in the world do these guys get this idea???
-Smoking is already bad, and now you wanna act like the cool kid on the block. so UNCOOL

4.PEOPLE THAT ARE RACIST
-What are you guys doing? Cant you live in peace with everyone?
-Those who always stirr the racist issues HERE in hope to garner more voters or whatever, i hope they all choke with all those bullshits that they have been sprouting.

5.FAMILIES TAKING ADVANTAGE OF EACH OTHER
-Its unacceptable and sad when you see brothers and sisters taking advantages of each other and all they can think of are money, power and greed.

6.CONTROL FREAKS
-Its OK if you want to look or feel perfect to control yourself, but if you've gone overboard until the extant that you want to control other people as well. Do remember to ask yourself again and again WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?
-If your some-kind of disciplinarian that is currently CONTROLLING people in jail, military or something like that during working hour is acceptable other than that you ought to be spank at the head.
-I ever encounter one, who thinks he is my bf. Tried to call me 20 times a day, and wants me to report everything I'm doing. Poor kid, too stupid to realized that his stupid and annoying.

These basically sum up everything.

There's no more US

June the 6, 2010.
This was the day when I finally drop the B word.
Goodbye and I really don't wish to see or hear anything from M.
SHIT happens and I really have to make a stop in it.
Full-stop.

I used to think that his the one for me.
The one and only guy i want to be with for the rest of my life...
To have a family of our own, a future together...
This is really saddening.
And the sadness feels endless.

I thought i can be strong
That i wont cry
That i wont bother
That it's ok
But the truth is...
The crying just wont stop

The disappointments are just to unbearable
To have put so much feelings and hopes on one person
SILLY ME

Going through this alone.....
In a shit hole
Where I'm pretending to be strong

Maybe all guys are the same
After they have the girl in their hand, they just take them for granted ^.^.
And that their boring
Not understanding
Being ridiculous
Its normal... this is world.

When i told him we can actually get marry, he said no cause his ideology is that after marry we need to have kids ASAP.
If cant no point.
The reason is CLEAR and SIMPLE

It was very heartbreaking to hear that.
It feels like at the end, our relationship is purely for kids and nothing else
Four years of what??
SHITS

But at the end of the day he just said it was a joke.
Hahahahaha
As if i don't know how to differentiate when is he joking.

Its very funny when he said tat I'm over sensitive or being ridiculous
When the fact is his been busy talking on the phone with another gal
Receiving friendly SMSs

That he just suddenly decided to cancel out our date after an hour late
But poor me... waiting and anticipating
WHOLE DAY

His busy this, busy that
Too busy to pick me, but it just so happened that his busy but able to pick other girl somewhere near for me to see that.
So unlucky of him.

Everybody thought i was being emotional and made the decision out of impulse, childish.

How can they say that??????
They don't even know what are the stories behind.
Just because i din cry o show my temper outside
Just because i din complaint

Well, cant blame them, not like i told them what really happened.

But when i tried to save our relationship
I was accused of dint try my best

when the truth is that i even waited for him to finish talking on the phone with another gal etc etc.

i remembered so clearly when there are few times when we had lunch together with his other friends
he totally forgotten abt me
walked and left me behind
Left me in the mall to accompany other 'friend'
Saying she needs help to buy clothes for her sister
So again i was left aside
ok... i have no right to be "angry"

when i asked him to go to the mall with me
he was angry.
he said its a waste of time
that he needed to rest
That I'm not understanding enough for asking him to accompany
Once a month seems to be too much
but i saw him out shopping with his other friend..

When he made promises that he dont even intend to make
again I'm not being understanding enough
Izzit too much when i requested to be with him just once a week?
YES his 'busy' 24/7

When i was blocked in his FB by his other friend...
We quarreled
The reason was because I'm 'crazy'
Because i was curious why i was blocked by his other friend
and that im funny for bothering about things like this
but don't u think its even funnier when he din think his other friend is weird n funny for blocking and deleting his own fiancee?

and its funny cause WHY can she access his FB account?

How can you expect me to bear with all this again and again?
It happens once, and it happens twice...
Till I've lost count of it

So I've learned to be more understanding enough
To set him free to do whatever he wants

When i finally made an end to this, he blamed his other friend.
But it was actually him himself that permit it to happened

Be gone evil thoughts

I've been very sinful lately.
i know it's wrong but still i can't resist it.
It's wrong, it's wrong, it's wrong.
I know....
i know it's unfaithful for harboring feelings for another guy while i'm currently in a relationship.

But is it wrong to like or admirer another guy?
i admit in this case it's more than admire....
Ok, it's really wrong.
At least i admit it

How can i not like him?
when HE was the one that was to comfort n by my side at time of despair.
Lights up my mood
Bring out the smiles in me everytime we meet

Perhaps this is what we call crush?
Or perhaps HIS just an unlucky guy that happened to be there when i needed somebody the most?

I want to be selfish!
I want to be greedy!
I want to be pampered!
I want to have more than i can handle!

But I've made my choice and i shall be firm with it.
Goodbye to u whom i had crushed to.
Thanks for being a great friend

The decision is hard but it has to be done.
One at a time and that's it.

Blah it's only one side admiration, not like HE like me.
So, goodbye evil thoughts.